Category: Military

• The Ostrich Report On: The National Guard

  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 14, 2019

  

  The National Guard is such a big joke around the country that when That ‘70s Show wanted to make sure we all knew the Formans’ neighbor Bob Pinciotti was a loser, they just announced he used to be in the NG. Unlike Kurtwood Smith’s Red, a Navy man who killed America’s enemies by clubbing them to death with his gigantic penis (and it was still flaccid at the time.) Here’s the thing about that: I talked to Sergeant Christian who served in the Massachusetts Army National Guard and also patrolled the streets of Boston during the hunt for the Tsarnaev brothers, and I’ve learned a few things. Short version: we vastly underestimate the work that National Guardsmen do. Long version: Continue reading →

  Posted in Military | 0 Comments | Tagged boston marathon bombing, national guard

• The Ostrich Report On: Playing Music For The Military

  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on December 10, 2018

  

  Between the U.S. Army, Navy, the Marines, Air Force, and the Coast Guard, there are hundreds of professional military bands in existence, ranging from full-on orchestras to two stoned guys with an overturned bucket and a broken kazoo. They provide music for military funerals, celebrations, parades and everywhere else where you need a lot of noise to drown out the other servicemen complaining about how they had to be in formation three hours before the whole thing even started. I recently talked to Roy, who spent eight years in just such a band, and this is what I’ve learned: Continue reading →

  Posted in Military, Music | 0 Comments | Tagged Military, military band, Music

• The Ostrich Report On: Military Interrogations

  Posted at 4:35 am by ostrichreport, on November 12, 2018

  

  In action movies, interrogations are usually screaming blood donations performed with fists and knives instead of syringes. But that’s only because torture gets shit done. I mean, if you had some kind of vital information like, hypothetically, what happened to the lawnmower I lent you two weeks ago, Michael, you would probably give it up after a few hours of gut-punches and having a car battery strapped to your junk… right? To make sure I didn’t burn any bridges with the neighbors for nothing, I consulted Drew who used to work as a National Guard human intelligence collector in Iraq and Afghanistan. He told me that: Continue reading →

  Posted in Military | 0 Comments | Tagged afghanistan, interrogator, iraq, torture, war on terror, waterboarding

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