Posted at 1:00 pm , on February 22, 2019
Numbers. The letters of algebra. They’re a funny thing. Sometimes it’s good when they’re high, like with your bank balance, and sometimes it’s good when they’re low, like with the number of corpses under your house. When it comes to TV channel numbers, though, you want to go low. Low-numbered stations (2-13) operate in the VHF (Very High Frequency) range, which is usually reserved for big, multi-million-dollar broadcasting corporations. Everyone else uses UHF (Ultra High Frequency), which despite containing the word “ultra” is still seen as the ugly stepchild of broadcast television. In reality, though, UHF stations are the secret backbone of American broadcasting, which Peter discovered while working at a UHF station for 20 years. Specifically, he’s learned that…
Research by Evan Symon.
Posted at 1:00 pm , on December 5, 2018
Whenever someone doesn’t have the common god damn decency to die in front of a camera, their death may have to be examined by forensic anthropologists. They are sort of like CSI investigators because they too use science to solve crimes and are apparently never portrayed accurately on TV. I reached out to Hannah Woodford and Dr. Elizabeth Miller to confirm that their real-life professions rarely include sassy banter with FBI agents and chasing cannibalistic serial killers through abandoned museums. This is what I’ve learned: Continue reading
Posted at 4:35 am , on November 12, 2018
On Season 10 of America’s Got Talent, Leroy Patterson went out on stage, stripped, and proceeded to body/face-slam a huge pile of 5,000 thumbtacks he scattered on the floor. Three judges sent him to the next round because while AGT might be full of evil dicks, they do recognize greatness when they see it. And so do I – although Leroy was later cut from the show (see: evil dicks), he was still a winner to me and I desperately wanted to talk to this professional “pain junkie.” This is what I’ve learned about reality TV in the process: Continue reading