Ostrich Report

- The Ostrich Report On: Malaysia’s Child Predator Problem
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 18, 2019
  
  It sucks when you’re suffering from Baby-Face Syndrome. You always need to show your ID when buying booze, you have trouble getting into R-rated movies, and your boss might ask you to go on dates with child predators. Clarissa found out about that last part after she joined R.AGE, the youth desk for The Star – Malaysia’s largest English newspaper.
  
  In 2016, the paper conducted an investigation where they had their reporters pretend to be underage girls on popular chat apps and see how many adults would ask them out. Short answer: way too many, and Clarissa—being one of the few people in the office who could pass for 15—was eventually chosen to go and meet these men in cafes etc and secretly record all the creepy stuff they said to her. This is what she’s learned along the way: Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Crime | 0 Comments | Tagged malaysia, predator, r.age
- The Ostrich Report On: Prison Healthcare
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 16, 2019
  
  Despite being the best motivation ever to work out besides your spouse giving the mail carrier flirty looks, prison isn’t actually that good for your health. And not just because of the violence, isolation, depression, and meals that legally have to be sold as animal feed but, like, for animals that have embezzled from a children’s cancer charity or something. The real problem starts after all those things have kicked your butt and you find yourself in need of medical attention. That’s when people like Rebecca, who served over 2 years at a large women’s prison, learn that… Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Crime, Health | 0 Comments | Tagged healthcare, prison, prison healthcare
- The Ostrich Report On: The National Guard
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 14, 2019
  
  The National Guard is such a big joke around the country that when That ‘70s Show wanted to make sure we all knew the Formans’ neighbor Bob Pinciotti was a loser, they just announced he used to be in the NG. Unlike Kurtwood Smith’s Red, a Navy man who killed America’s enemies by clubbing them to death with his gigantic penis (and it was still flaccid at the time.) Here’s the thing about that: I talked to Sergeant Christian who served in the Massachusetts Army National Guard and also patrolled the streets of Boston during the hunt for the Tsarnaev brothers, and I’ve learned a few things. Short version: we vastly underestimate the work that National Guardsmen do. Long version: Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Military | 0 Comments | Tagged boston marathon bombing, national guard
- The Ostrich Report On: America’s Heroin Epidemic
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 11, 2019
  
  The U.S. is in the midst of a heroin crisis. It’s estimated that tens of millions of Americans are addicted to some kind of opiate, with heroin overdose deaths reaching unprecedented heights all across the country and… You know what? This topic is so depressing that the only way we’ll get through it is if I call “heroin” by some other, friendlier name, like “Jeffrey.” So, the thing about Jeffrey is that he gets really angry when you try to stop being his friend and the best way to combat this is by befriending another, weaker version of Jeffrey (so… Jeff?), which here stands for methadone. I wanted to learn more about this process so I talked to Bob who works at methadone clinic, and he told me that… Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Health | 0 Comments | Tagged heroin, methadone, opiates, opioids
- The Ostrich Report On: Satanism
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 9, 2019
  
  In the 1980s, there was nothing that Americans feared more than Satanists breaking into their house and ritually-murdering their entire family. Second biggest fear? Basically the same scenario, only instead of killing you, the Satanists make you watch as they delete your Pac-Man high-score. They’re Satanists. They’re crazy. They worship the devil and are all about inflicting pain and suffering. They’re probably the ones who invented Comcast and clamshell plastic packaging. That’s what most people think anyway but I wasn’t really buying it so I sat down with Isaiah and Raul, two confessed Satanists who gave me the 666 on their belief system, like how… Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Religion | 0 Comments | Tagged church of satan, satan, satanism
- The Ostrich Report On: Nightclubs
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 7, 2019
  
  Nightclubs are their own, bizarre little worlds, I assume. I have absolutely no way to confirm this firsthand because I could never get into one on account of being a fat white man with the fashion sense of an even drunker Johnny Depp. That’s why I instead talked to Gary and Adam who’ve worked in the club business for years. This is what I’ve learned from them: Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Crime, Entertainment, Music | 0 Comments | Tagged bar, night club, nightclub
- The Ostrich Report On: Extreme BDSM
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 4, 2019
  
  As far as most people are concerned, BDSM stands for Beatings, Dick-punches, and Shaking Mydamnhead at the thought of people needing to do that stuff just to get off. In reality, though, pain and injuries are just a very small part of the typical BDSM experience, which is ultimately all about intimacy. But then there are the… atypical experiences. I recently talked to Arya who likes to engage in more extreme forms of BDSM and this is what I’ve discovered: Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Sex & Romance | 0 Comments | Tagged bdsm, extreme bdsm, fire play, knife play
- Happy 2019! Here Is The Ostrich Report On: Being A Professional Clown
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on January 2, 2019
  
  A long time ago, clowns must have slept with pop culture’s mother and never called again because their portrayal in media over the years has been less than flattering. They’re either depicted as childish buffoons who need to get a real job or supernatural monsters who want to gut you and make balloon animals out of your intestines. But after talking to Clown Bobo, I realized that clowning is much harder than it looks and that the only people clowns are most likely to hurt are themselves, typically through crippling substance abuse brought on by the grim realities of their job. Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Entertainment | 0 Comments | Tagged clown, clowning
- The Ostrich Report Is On A Break!
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on December 24, 2018
  
  I’ll see you all again on January 2nd 2019! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
  
  Posted in Site News | 0 Comments
- The Ostrich Report On: The Chinese Video Game Market
  
  Posted at 1:00 pm by ostrichreport, on December 21, 2018
  
  If you’ve ever seen an internet ad, you know that China makes a lot of video games, but you probably also think they’re all porn clones of fortress defense browser games that steal your credit card information. But the reality of the Chinese interactive entertainment market is more complex and much, much weirder. I’ve learned that after talking to Alex who used to work for a large video game company in China. He told me that… Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Technology | 0 Comments | Tagged china, chinese video games, video games
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